On their site, they give you an opportunity to contact them and share any comments you many have. I took the next step and decided to briefly share my story of what "True Love Waits" means to me. I did this in hopes of encouraging them and their pursuit of reaching out the the teens of Jacksonville, FL.
Now, I would also like to share my story with you, my faithful blog readers
.To Sean Yost, the YQL Cast and Team Members-
I want to thank all of you for putting on such an amazing experience via www.synclive.com for those of us who wish they could be at Youth Quake Live, but cannot because we no longer live in town. Many kudos to you all! The February "True Love Waits" has touched my heart each and every year.
This is my first year not being in Jacksonville, FL to see it in person. Please, let me share part of my story with you:
I remember back to the days of my own youth (which really wasn't that long ago), when I was very naive about what "true love" really meant. I had two loving parents, they decided the only way to settle their differences was through divorce. That was the Summer I was 13 years old. That most critical juncture in a young woman's life when she needs the love and support of her father most. After the divorce, I died to true love. I knew God loved me, I obeyed the commandments of the Bible, but each minute of each day I layered one more brick of protection around my heart. I swore to myself and before God I would stay abstinent until the day I married, but I did it out of selfish reasoning, I didn't ever want to be hurt like I did when my father left me and my family. I am the oldest child in my family, I have several younger siblings. For years I plastered on a happy face. I pretended nothing was ever wrong, I made myself believe I was invincible. What I became was impenetrable, by love that is.
In my early high school career I established myself among my peers as a "goody-two-shoes" church girl, or "go see Erica if you need prayer", or the worst one, "if you're having relationship problems with your boyfriend or girlfriend, go talk to Erica, she gives the best relationship advice". How did I become the "date doctor"? I never dated, I never even allowed anyone to ask. When meeting new male friends, the first few words out of my mouth were, "please never ask me out, because I do not date". Most of the time that settled things. I gave out advice for that which I could not experience and did not know. I prayed with my peers on the topic, took a pro stance on the issues of abstinence, gave out advice on a daily basis, and when love came knocking on my heart's door, I looked the other way.
Fast forward to college. By this point I had been able to start forgiving my father for all the pain he had caused my troubled heart since that final summer, but the wall was still there (just as in the skit in the YQL show). I wanted out, I would cry myself to sleep on almost a daily basis because of it. I didn't like who I had become. I felt that for the last 4 years of high school, every time someone wrote in my year book, "you're a wonderful young godly woman, and stay sweet!" , I knew in my heart that must be a lie, or they must be talking about someone else. It was written right before my eyes, in black and white. I couldn't believe those words, even though I desperately wanted to. As college graduation came to a close, I felt I had fulfilled my "non-dating" duty, the promise I made to myself of not dating until I had completed my schooling. Sure, during college I hung out with friends and I had my handful of "safety guy friends". You know, those friends that you know NOTHING will ever happen with. There are just some times when a girl wants to go somewhere and not look like she's a tramp or a hooker, so I took a friend along, more like begged them to hang out with me. I was pathetic. But that could never count as a date, could it?
Shortly after college I thought I met the man I was going to marry. He seemed very polite, solid faith and beliefs, and he was charming, a gentleman, and very good looking. I thought God had dropped the boy in my lap. Well, I was swept away by his charm and smooth style, and right off my rug of morals as well. The only good that came from that relationship was a bleeding, torn, hurting, unprotected heart. Yes I said it, unprotected heart. He was the only person who had ever tried breaking though my wall of protection, and he did a great job. For that I am thankful. Once I was broken, I confessed my sinful nature to both God and my parents. I felt as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I felt free. There was joy and peace in my spirit and my life again. I had a renewed walk with my Savior, Jesus Christ, and focused all my love and affections solely upon Him. But this time, it was for the right reasons.
Several months passed as I walked in blissful union with the lover of my soul and I found a renewed joy in my job, my daily errands, and my family bonds were restored with my own father. Life was grand. In July of that same year a very old friend of mine from college was home visiting. Back in our college days we had briefly discussed our intentions on how much we might like the other and what that might become post-college. But then he was recruited by a great company and moved out of state two weeks after graduation. Now, he was back in town, visiting family. We had lunch together one afternoon and fell into a very deep and thoughtful conversation. That evening I received an e-mail off-handily asking permission to court me. He said he didn't want to rush me, but he clearly knew now the way he felt and wanted to see where this would lead. I agreed to think about it. The next day he returned to his new home state, and I received a very surprising e-mail from him. In his e-mail he explained to me that he had been seated between a religious man and church administrator. The church admin took the liberty of striking up a conversation with my friend and by the end of the 6 hour flight, my friend step off the plane knowing his eternity would be in Heaven with Christ.
When he told me this, I was floored. I could do nothing else but except his proposal to court. God had done it again to me. He had fulfilled a child's prayer I had asked for way back in the day. I had randomly prayed one evening asking Christ that whomever He wanted me to marry, please do not let it be anyone I had prayed with for salvation. Being very active in my church's evangelism training, I was afraid if I married someone with whom I prayed to receive salvation, that I would become the so-called "head" in our relationship, and I didn't want that. What I wanted was a man I could respect as the head of our household, with Godly wisdom for all our relationship and friendship areas.
As months passed, I was surprised at how quickly my friend, now courtship partner, was growing in his knowledge of Christ's love and all Christ held for his life plans. By that same year's Christmas time we were engaged to be married, and less than a year later, we were. There are many more details I could share, but this is my conclusion. After seven (7) years of friendship and praying for my friend to come to the knowledge of who Jesus Christ is in his life, we are now happily married and doing all we can to live in union with each other, as Christ at the head and center of our marriage and friendship. I wish I could say that I had completely waited for my husband, and I regret the one stain left in my past. But, I know that I have been forgiven, made whole and new again in God's sight, and I can love my husband unconditionally in every way with no regrets. From the littlest chore I do around the home, to loving him as a bride, that is my new definition of what "True Love Waits" means to me.
We've recently been discussing future family (i.e. children) and letting God decide that time frame. In the mean time my wonderful husband is working hard to support our little family, and I am a new volunteer at a local Birth Choice clinic (it's the same thing as the Crisis Pregnancy Centers in FL). Day by day, I can only stare at my husband and let Christ's love sink deeply into my spirit, because my husband truly is a physical representation of the love Christ holds for each and every one of us, His children. I feel blessed beyond women for Christ teaching me such an important lesson, and now I can see it clearly.
Thank you for taking time to read my story, and I pray that it will encourage you and others in the days ahead :).
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God Bless,
Erica Winn
For info about us please visit our blog: http://joeerica13.blogspot.com
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